Speech
Chief Roach addresses the hostel
4.2M views
Satire notice: CJP is a youth meme and parody community — not an official political party or government body.
Breaking
●Cockroach Janata Party promises free midnight kitchen access to every hostel●Anti-HIT Spray Bill introduced in Roach Parliament●Lizards stage peaceful protest against CJP manifesto●Cabinet approves National Maggi Subsidy Scheme●Mosquito Party seat-share talks collapse after biting incident●Tubelight Coalition pledges 24x7 PG WiFi●Chief Roach addresses nation from behind the fridge●Survey: 9 out of 10 hostel students endorse CJP●Bachelor's kitchen declared National Heritage Site●Cockroach Election Commission opens nominations for Meme Minister●Cockroach Janata Party promises free midnight kitchen access to every hostel●Anti-HIT Spray Bill introduced in Roach Parliament●Lizards stage peaceful protest against CJP manifesto●Cabinet approves National Maggi Subsidy Scheme●Mosquito Party seat-share talks collapse after biting incident●Tubelight Coalition pledges 24x7 PG WiFi●Chief Roach addresses nation from behind the fridge●Survey: 9 out of 10 hostel students endorse CJP●Bachelor's kitchen declared National Heritage Site●Cockroach Election Commission opens nominations for Meme Minister
BREAKING · 5,000,000+ digital roaches online
India's Fastest
Growing Youth Movement
Not corruption. Not promises. Only survival. Join the meme-powered satire party crawling across every hostel, PG and group chat in Bharat.
★ Endorsed by every hostel kitchen★ Survives HIT spray since 1947
● LIVE · National Chief Roach speaking
Not corruption. ✦Not promises. ✦Only survival. ✦Long live the roach. ✦Zinda hai. Zinda rahega. ✦Not corruption. ✦Not promises. ✦Only survival. ✦Long live the roach. ✦Zinda hai. Zinda rahega. ✦Not corruption. ✦Not promises. ✦Only survival. ✦Long live the roach. ✦Zinda hai. Zinda rahega. ✦
The CJP Manifesto · v6.9
Six promises. Zero lies.
Approximately three jokes.
Other parties promise jobs. We promise survival, snacks, and slightly better Wi-Fi in the hostel common room.
- §01
Free Midnight Kitchen Access
Constitutional right to raid the fridge after 2 AM. No questions, no judgement.
- §02
Right To Survive Nuclear Attack
Cockroaches survived dinosaurs. So will you. Free shelter manual on demand.
- §03
One Biscuit Packet Per Worker
Parle-G is a fundamental utility, not a luxury. Subsidised chai by 2026.
- §04
Anti-HIT Spray Protection Bill
Ban toxic sprays. Promote dialogue. Resolve all roach conflicts diplomatically.
- §05
Reservation For Bathroom Survivors
Anyone who has shared one toilet with 12 flatmates qualifies as an OBC of survival.
- §06
Freedom From Hostel Lizards
Every student deserves a lizard-free wall. Operation Chhipkali begins Q3.
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